– By Brittany Seki, Senior Editor –
Please share. It’s good karma 🙂
Not ready? That’s okay!
I didn’t really notice at first. I typed my congratulatory comments and clicked “like” on the wedding or newborn baby photos without a second thought. Then I realized the “awes” and “congrats” became all too frequent and it got me thinking. Facebook has moved from pals posting backpacking and party albums to photos of engagements, babies and brand new homes. Even as I write this, a “baby’s first bday” album has popped up on my newsfeed and my phone has buzzed with gossip about yet another friend who has proposed … in Paris. One moment while I click “like”.
Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be happier for them. I’m a maid of honour myself and I’m so excited to see one of my best friends tie the knot. I loved seeing the joy on my friend’s face when he became a new dad, sold his motorcycle for a mini-van and bought his first home. These experiences are wonderful – but not for me. Not yet. My motorcycle is still my one and only baby right now.
Approaching 30 is an exciting time to figure out personal goals and what you want in life. When figuring these out, it’s impossible to avoid topics about marriage, mortgages and munchkins. But these conversations need to move from “why hasn’t it happened to me yet?” to conversations that revolve around what you want, where you are in life and where you want to be. Just because your acquaintances from school are posting photos of white picket fences doesn’t mean you should be too. You’re not ready yet, and you know what? That’s okay.
Never feel like something is wrong with you if you don’t have a ring on your finger. Unless it has been destroyed in molten lava from the fiery pits of Mordor, “the ring” will appear one day if your heart is set on it. If you’re in a relationship full of trust, communication, growth and reciprocity – and love of course – then the engagement will come. If you’re single, know you’re hot stuff and be excited to meet your new partner in crime and worry about marriage when the time comes. Happy to be single or common law? Then no sweat, there’s nothing wrong with the decision to leave the preccioussss with Gollum, as long as it’s what you want. What others think or do shouldn’t matter. It’s your life and you’re the only one in control.
Paying rent? It’s okay to write a cheque each month instead of making a mortgage payment, because it’s the best financial decision you have chosen to make for yourself at this time. Plans to own property are part of my own life goals, however it has taken a backburner to building my career and savings. I’ve quit my corporate job to do what I love (writing for you guys!) and my next steps are saving every penny to make my first big purchase. Even though I have a few years to go before buying home-sweet-home, I’m perfectly content. Do you know why? Because I know I will buy my dream home one day, and I’m on the right path for myself. Be happy for those who’ve already made this achievement, but never put yourself down for not being there too. You will get there, I promise.
There is never any rush to have children – if you want them – so there’s no reason to feel pressure to pop some out. You need to be mentally and financially prepared, so this is not a decision to rush into if you’re not 110% ready. If your bestie or sister is expecting, and you’re simply expecting your next period, rejoice! You get to experience the joy of babies before you give life yourself. Take these exciting moments as a reminder of the happiness you will feel once your time comes. If kids aren’t on your life’s agenda, then take pride in your choice and don’t let anything sway you. Whether you want kids or not, you are exactly where you’re meant to be.
So next time you log onto Facebook and you see the popular kid from high school has just had child number four, squash those feelings of envy. You have your own life plan and you know you will make your wedding, mini-me and humble abode happen when the time is right for you.